Alligators on a Party Barge

And I'm not even a believer

As we're all aware, my middle-aged husband has had a mid-life crisis and left me. Whatever. (In the 5 Stages of Grief I've moved through denial to anger--bargaining is next. I can hardly wait. I bet it involves a lawyer.)

Anyhow, I've been reading the Express on the Metro on the way to work, as is my usual routine. I read the whole paper--every word--so that I can drag it out to last my entire morning commute. That includes the horoscopes. Now, I'm a pretty practical person, and I don't believe in horoscopes. Usually I am amused to see how vague they are, and how I could actually fit into almost any of the signs on a daily basis. The last three days, though, the write-up for my sign has been eerily aimed at me:

Monday: Don't spend any money. (I'm paraphrasing because I don't still have my copy of the Express, but that's the gist of it.)
Tuesday: As you retrace your steps, you'll find that everything will work out for the best. (Again, I don't have the real paper.)
Today: ..."you must first settle an ever-mounting conflict with a friend or loved one." Direct quote.

So while I'm an unbeliever, I think I might just start skipping the horoscope for now. I'll start reading again when someone tells me that it says I'm going to meet a tall, handsome stranger and live happily ever after.

Oh, wait! Here's his for today: "Something you've been planning for some time may seem rather unpromising..." That makes me feel better. Maybe for the near future I'll skip my sign and read his, just in case the universe wants to slap him down again.

posted by Oregano, yo @ Wednesday, November 29, 2006