Alligators on a Party Barge

Nacho Cheesier! Like Way Cheesier.

When carrying out one of my several-times weekly urban shopping trips (this time for milk, rotisserie chicken and bananas), I encountered three college-age guys, raiding an end-of-aisle Doritos display. At first, I thought the Giant was running a special on the chips, causing a frenzy among frat boys everywhere. Upon closer exam, it was even more bizzaro.

The boys were midway through loading their third shopping cart, and one of the bunch of guys promptly ran to the front to get another. The two other carts were overflowing with bags of Doritos, in what appeared to be three flavors (versions? tastes? whatdoyoucallit?) All of them were laughing hysterically and causing quite a spectacle among other shoppers (it was a Monday and just after 5:00 p.m. too, so the store was packed).

Also present in one cart was a single package of a no-bake cheescake. Dying with curiousity about that.

In line, they were still getting strange looks from many of the patrons, though some—being seemingly long-time urbanites—pretended not to notice, for that would indicate that they were flappable by a somewhat extraordinary occurance. I guess that's what you get, after many years ignoring people doing strange things on the Metro. Anyway, these urbanites seemed to be incredibly focused on the latest headlines on the tabs, probably thinking "THANK GOD Tom and Katie got married so I have something to focus on!" An older lady behind me in line took one look at the four Dorito-ed carts, grunted and appeared incredibly irritated ... actually OFFENDED ... by them. HOW DARE THEY BUY ALL THE CHIPS AND STAND IN LINE?!!! I don't get it either.

Regarding my reaction: I, however, tried to appear amused, but not overly surprised, in case this happened to be a Candid Camera experience. That's one of my greatest fears, being mortified on TV by that show.

Resumed my shopping and happened to end up in the line next to these fellas, which let me listen in on some of the conversations:

One said to the other that because they technically only have one item, perhaps they should hit the express 12-items-or-less line. Thankfully he was joking. I think the older lady would have ran them through with her own cart.

When discussing how much this could possibly cost, they bantered around about $100, $200, with an estimate as high as $400. Payment was also approached, with a decision to split it between several cards. One kiddo said that he's a bit concerned because the bill goes to his mother, but his friend—what a guy!—reassured his friend that it would say "Giant" on the bill, not 300 bags of Doritos purchased at Giant. Luckily for all of them, the chips ended up being two-for-one.

When discussing how to carry these away, one of the crew kept asking "How are we going to get these home?!" Apparently they had one mondo-sized duffel and a few backpacks, but they were taking the Metro. So a challenge was ahead.

Finally, someone asked them what they were planning on doing with all the Doritos. The answer: "It's a long story, but we're making a commercial."

So after all that, I was finally able to figure out why.

I hope, for all their effort, they win!

posted by Veronica @ Tuesday, November 28, 2006