Thursday, September 28, 2006

Strange Prehistoric Creature in My Bathtub

(Also could be filed in bizzare things you see when traveling... San Diego edition)

Please alert the proper scientific community members.

Just went into the bathroom to take a shower and, in the bathtub, there was what may be called an insect in some circles, as it had a segmented body; however it had a tadpole-like tail (flagella?). It also had what looked to be cilia or a centipede-like legs up the sides of its body. At first, I thought it was just a speck of dirt on the side of the tub, but when I turned on the water, it started to swim around. Then I flung tissues at it and scooped it up for a closer look. It was unlike anything I've seen before (save for the prehistoric exhibits at the Smithsonian--could it have been it a live trilobite?). What I saw drew an exclamation of horror, because this thing was moving and squirming around.

That's when I shrieked and dropped the tissues into the toilet. The preservation process halted, thusly, as the offending creature was flushed. The scientific community may want to scour the San Diegoan sewer system for signs of this strange lifeform.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

There's no party on the barge

at this time of year. *sigh*

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Gall Bladder Out is In!!!!

Excerpt from an actual e-mail I recently wrote to a friend who informed me her husband is going to have his gall bladder removed. Yes, I AM this weird in real life:

Dear [Friend of B],
Sorry to hear about your husband's gall stones. But if it makes him feel better, the gall bladder is THE stylish organ to get taken out today. Now, instead of oversized sunglasses and dogs that fit in purses, everyone is taking out the gall bladder. We have like, 2 people here at my office who just had that surgery too, including my boss. We had a going away party for his gall bladder. It was really fun until, of course, the gall bladder got really drunk and told us that we never really appreciated it and that THAT was why it was removing itself from our group. It then flipped a table, threw vodka in my face and stormed out. We couldn't believe it. I mean seriously. Since then the gall bladder has changed its name--I think it poses as a spleen now--has moved to Hollywood, and last I read, it was spotted walking out of Koi in LA at 3am with Justin Timberlake and Jessica Simpson's hairdresser in tow. I hope your husband's gall bladder makes the transition a little easier--I mean, when you already aren't feeling well, you just don't NEED that kind of organ drama. Stupid, moody gall bladder....

Hugs and kisses!


Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Strange the things people care about

Don't piss off California, y'all -- the international scientific community is about to take one up the ass.

As a scientist's wife and, at times, an apologist for technical data meself, dumb bits of hokey sentimentality like this bug the crap out of me. Dude, the scientists -- the people trained in this stuff and study it every day -- said Pluto isn't a planet. That it was a mistake to originally define it as such, and in light of what we have learned about planetary characteristics, we need to clear up the misconception. Deal.

Last week Oregano, yo coined the phrase "my favorite designer in a vacuum," referring to a so-called graphic artist whose creations look awesome on a blank sheet of paper, but could seldom be successfully incorporated into the reality of our employer's publications and websites. It continues to boggle me how many folks believe decisions are made in a vacuum, absent any information or feedback from those who would be affected by said decision. Now true, many folks fail to actually provide such feedback and are then horrified, HORRIFIED, to find their cheese has been moved under the cover of darkness.

But if indeed half of winning is showing up, then why are so many people determined to lose? Are they testing their Vulcan mind meld abilities to see if they can make the mountain come to them? 'Cause California legislators, y'all are just way out of your league on this one.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Don't Forget The Britney, Yo, Mum.

Above is my advertising slogan--how do you find this stuff, Veronica, Yo? Sweet!

Speaking of advertising--on my way in today I read a "deep thought" about how individualism and uniqueness are dead on the back of a Starbucks cup. ????