Alligators on a Party Barge

Open Letter to Lance--From One Who Understands...

Dear L,

It's been awhile since we've talked. And when I say awhile, I mean ever, but I really don't see how that takes away from the very important issue we have to talk about. And that issue, I hate to say, is your attitude lately. But before you feel attacked, and like I’m all up in your grille, please understand that I am speaking to you as someone who too has had to take it down a peg, and now I am here to share with you insights I have come up with, on my own, that I trust will completely change your life for the better--because it is really good advice.

I saw you on the ESPY Awards, and you were really good and all, but as I sat watching you, I realized to myself, here is someone who has done some really good stuff, and he knows it, but he seems to be a little too aware of it. And I think people who used to love you, and look up to you, are starting to think you're a little full of yourself. But don't worry, L, because I have SO been there. Believe it or not, all the hundreds, or like, thousands, of people who love and look up to me have thought the same thing. And what they don't realize, but what I totally get, is that it isn't "conceit" or "excessive self-love" or "a personality disorder" --it's just a strong self-awareness.

You have shown super-human strength and achieved the impossible six times in a row. Yeah, me too. And I, like you, also look at myself and my NUMEROUS accomplishments and I say "Wow, I'm really amazing and skilled and pretty." But what I have learned is that, while everyone else completely agrees with you and wants to be like you--or at least, like, touch you--they don't always want to hear it from you. I KNOW! And so I no longer state the obvious, but I let others just see it, and enjoy it, on their own. That way, when they come to me and say "Just…Wow..." I can just be like "Mmm-hmm, yeah, I know, right?" And I find satisfaction in not having to SAY it, and I can tell it makes them feel good too.

Will this change how you are inside? No. Should it? Hells no--hello? Why are we having this conversation? And I still look in the mirror and think "Yes, I am me..." but instead of my usual, perhaps somewhat selfish, reaction of "hello lover..." I now wake up in the morning and think about what a miracle it is for me to be alive, and me, and how I can share that miracle with the world. And that’s special I think.

Also, L, don’t be afraid to critique yourself. It is this inner reflection that makes us better people. For example, I too have tried on a bright yellow jersey, and I now have the strength to realize that it is NOT my color. There are so many colors in this world that better accentuate my skin tone, and INNER beauty, that I just think I should try them ALL on—and then, you know, share it with the world. (I also tried on the helmet, and, no.)

So, L, don’t change on my account—you are busy appearing on television specials and in movies, hosting awards shows and winning really long bike races, and I have… all the important and AMAZING stuff I do. But I don’t think that gives us an excuse to lose sight of what’s really important--Because I’ve tried to keep all of this up in here to myself, and I just don’t feel right doing it.

Anyway, good luck with all of your stuff. Call me! Same number.

Kisses,

B, Yo

posted by Britney, yo @ Tuesday, August 29, 2006