Friday, August 11, 2006

Things I've Learned This Year (In no particular order)

1) Using the same drycleaner as someone and emotions are both signs of creepy instability that can only be labeled as "Weird..." (Not that I'm bitters, yo)

2) Conjunctivitis (or Pink eye) is the new clap

3) Pink eye is actually the new herpes

4) Slacking off and ruining everyone's lives is "sure fire" way to eventually find new opportunities and great wealth.

5) Even those without souls can be nice sometimes

6) No--they're still pure evil and suck

7) It's okay for male coworkers to point out that your toenail polish is chipping in elevators crowded with strangers

8) It's okay for other men you hardly know to tell you stories that make your ears bleed and cause you to wish for the sweet release of death.

9) Wikipedia is a GREAT way to learn about the history of our world, and then go change it. (Change the world or the Wiki entries? I think both apply here...Enough said)

10) Even the most obnoxious, strange, unpleasant and alarming people can be crazy popular--and they think you will find you have A LOT in common...

11) Mentos and Diet Coke can mean hours of zany, fizzy fun. That it or it could KILL you! Now I fear the fresh maker!

12) Spell check will suggest you replace "drycleaner" with "truculently". WTF?! It's like even Spell Check is taking his side. It heard the drycleaner story and now even IT is accusing me of being, not only weird, but truculent! SO mean.


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